This is going to be one of those posts that talks about my life, my problems, and my thoughts. I wanted to do this post for a long time now, but I always thought 'This is a fashion blog, nobody wants to know what's in my head. They want to know what's in my closet'.
When I found out that I passed the exam yesterday, I was extremely happy, but after few minutes I was thinking 'What next?'. I was thinking of reading a book, writing a lot of posts, meeting up with a lot of people I didn't get to see during the exams, or even writing a book. See, I have a lot of ideas on my mind, but something is still stopping me. I bet you wanna know what!
When I started writing this blog, I never thought about being 'famous', a 'world-known' blogger, or that people will 'talk about me'. I just met Ljupka, Ana, and few other bloggers, and Ljupka talked me into opening a blog. I was SOOO confused when it started- I didn't know if I was able to an outfit post every few days, if I'll be interesting, or if more than 5 people (including parents) would read my sh*t. After a while, the number of visits started to increase, and so were my wishes and hopes. After one, one and a half months, I was thinking about becoming a 'croatian bryan-boy', going to fashion weeks, and being a DIVA. And about the same time, the first critics came.
They were talking about me being in places that I didn't deserve. They talked about 'the guy with the ray-ban eyeglasses' and how he didn't know fashion, english, or anything else. That really hurt me. In ways that I couldn't imagine a critic could hurt me. I had so many 'critics' during life- they said I was fat during kindergarten years (and I was SO not :P), and 'the gay story' came to life with my elementary school years.
You can't even imagine how mean can children be. The boys especially. That's why I don't have any male best friends, and the reason why I could never be gay. I hate men, so I could never love them (I know it's maybe hard to understand but try :D). The only men in my life I can really believe are my dad, my uncle, and my grandfather.
After that period of 'world known blogger' in my life, and the 'back to reality' critics, I asked myself a question: 'What now?!'. What was I supposed to do? Explain my story to them, or say I'm sorry?! No, I could never do that. I continued with my 'job' as a fashion blogger, and imagined I was writing it to myself. I never cared about the negative things one may say, but I always had a response to a critic- like a backfire. After another month, the next wave of critics came down on me like rain. They talked about my 'bad' english, about the 'ugly' oversized blazers, and my 'false friendships' with other bloggers. One of the critics said 'I would like you more if you'd came out of the closet'. That really hurt. More than the first time.
I always talked back, never could let it go. And I stil find it too hard not to respond. Because it's easy to say a bad thing, but it's hard to say nothing.
I'm now here where I am, talking to my style-brick-riders with my bad english and in my ugly oversized blazer. I know my english is never going to be TOP NOTCH (although I try, and I still hate the people that write in 'artificial' english), and my blazers are never going to be everybody's taste. But it's me. You really see what you get, and I'm never going to be a backstabbing bitch.
A famous and fashionable woman named Audrey Hepburn once said: "Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you’re exactly the same."
SO f-ing true.
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hope you like it! ˆ*